Self-Boundaries
I am currently in the phase of my life where I am being forced to confront how much I value myself. Recently, the question of what I am willing to tolerate in relationship dynamics has been brought to my attention. What am I willing to compromise in romantic relationships? What type of exploitative working conditions am I tolerating?
When it comes to romantic love, I am learning that there are non-negotiable deal breakers I cannot overlook. A major deal breaker is my desire to remain childless. This is a hard one to navigate because it can be difficult to meet a romantic interest who also desires a childless lifestyle. In the past, I dated men who eventually wanted to have children simply because we were aligned in every other aspect. Despite knowing we were never going to end up together long-term and communicating that boundary, I still thought the dating process was worth it.
Other non-negotiables I deeply value in relationships are emotional vulnerability and quality time. However, I have also dated men who were emotionally unavailable and lacked the time to engage with me. I am now accepting that I compromised my romantic standards. While I did like the values of the men I dated, it was not enough reason to settle. We were not fully aligned in our non-negotiables, and that should have been enough reason to disengage from the connections. From now on, I will be patient and wait for my ideal partnership. While I do yearn for romantic intimacy, it will not come at the expense of disrespecting my boundaries.
In terms of working conditions, I realize I have become numb to labor exploitation. As an undocumented immigrant, it is especially easy to fall prey to labor exploitation for the sake of survival. Capitalism is a wicked system that creates poverty to benefit the wealthy few. As a result, we live in a society that normalizes poor working conditions for the sake of profit. While this systemic issue is impossible to dismantle individually, I do have agency in how I respond.
I am reclaiming my power by leaving behind exploitative work environments. While it is nerve-wracking to leap without assurance of financial security, I am relying on my faith. Everyone deserves a job that holistically fulfills them, so I must demand that for myself. I’m not sure how I will attain it, but I refuse to settle for less than a financially, emotionally, creatively, and spiritually fulfilling job that is aligned with my values. I have now accepted that the standards I set for my life will dictate what the universe reflects to me.