Healing Mother Wounds Through Plant Care

Earlier this year, I chose to get some plants to prove to myself that I am more than capable of taking care of them. So far, the journey has been a roller coaster ride. While some of my plants are thriving, the rest have been struggling. This brought up feelings of inadequacy as it pertained to my maternal capacity.

When one of my plants died, I was absolutely devastated because I invested so much time and energy into caring for it. I made sure to give them all adequate water, sunlight, plant food, and even repotted the struggling plants with fresh soil.

Despite all these efforts, some of my plants were still struggling to stay healthy. I decided to consult a friend who works with plants about my dilemma. After venting to her, she expressed how my negative energy was a factor that was limiting the growth of my plants.

Her revelation was a bitter pill for me to swallow. I never considered myself to be part of the problem when it came to my plant care. This humbling truth brought up mother wounds, and I quickly realized I was replicating the same patterns from my upbringing.

Growing up in an African household, the expectation was to be appreciative as long as my basic material needs were met. Typically, love, care, and affection are not part of the equation as long as food, housing, and education are provided. I realized I was applying the same expectations to my plants. As long as they had the basic needs, then they had no excuse but to thrive!

After my friend suggested treating each of my plants like I would my inner child, something rewired in my brain chemistry. I realized I would not want to withdraw love from my inner child simply because she doesn’t meet specific standards. Since motherly love is unconditional, I should consistently pour into my plants emotionally, not only when they are thriving.

This awakening has made me more intentional about how I show up as a plant mom moving forward. Regardless of their state of being, I will not withdraw my love and affection for them. Instead, I will kindly talk to them, positively affirm them, and nurture them the way I would want my inner child to be.